


Lonely nights

by prplerubberduck



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 05:11:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19986667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prplerubberduck/pseuds/prplerubberduck
Summary: Two lonely souls still awake at the dead of the night. Maybe they can find the much needed understanding and comfort from each other.Post ACWNR





	Lonely nights

**Author's Note:**

> Beta? What beta? Ain't that a fish?
> 
> Thank tanqueray's Malacca.  
> Also, this is all typed on my phone, so there will be some errors.

It's not unusual to hear wolves at night, Erwin thinks. Considering the location of the scouting legion’s headquarters, it would seem unusual if they were absent.

But this night, like the handful of nights before, the howls that ring throughout the dark seem pained. Human even. He almost brushes it off to return back to writing his post expedition report along with naming those of his squad who didn't return from outside the walls. Almost. Instead he procrastinates, sits and thinks that there is something that he is missing, something that he has overlooked.

This feeling akin to an itch, something that prods at the back of one’s head, and try as you might, you will never reach that spot. And he sits there, a knuckle between his teeth, gnawing at it as how this peculiar moment gnaws at him.

He hears the howl again, but this time it seems more like a wail. And with that, his resolve to finish his work before retiring to sleep dissipates. 

Before he realizes it, he has thrown on his overcoat and is outside in the moonless night, going in the direction of the wail. His feet move on their own accord, lightly and quiet. cautious. Cautious like a child tiptoeing out of bed to cause mischief.

But then he hears a noise all too familiar to him; the sound of the 3D gear gripping into trees, the sound of fabric whipping in the air. And then a howl that resembles more of a broken sob.

Quietly, the blond moves towards the origin of the nightly wails with a name already on his lips. As he moves closer, he makes out the outline of a small figure, huddled in a clearing. It's making small hiccups and sniffles, trying to contain the sobs that threatened to erupt once again.

Inch by inch, he soon is within arms distance away, until a twig snaps beneath him, causing the hooded figure to shoot up and move to cover in defence. Both are frozen in their spots, a blindman’s showdown between the two. Both are unable to make out each other's face. A stalemate.

He takes a small gamble, one that his gut tells that he'll win, and lets the name slide out of his lips. 

“Levi. “

He is met with silence for a pulse or two, confidence neither faltering nor rising. He actually doesn't know how it will pan out; he doesn't expect a response.

“Go away.” A deep cracking voice croaks out, one that he never expected to miss.

“Let’s go and have a bit of tea. It sounds like you need it.” The blond blatantly ignores the request and offers up a suggestion, hopeful persuasion in an attempt to comfort.

“Why the fuck are you out here, Erwin?” Cold, closed off with a bit of a bite, was shot back.

“I can ask you the same Levi. But to answer your inquiry, I was about to sleep until I heard some strange noises, so I came out to investigate.” It was a half truth.

“Bullshit, your office is still shining bright at this hour; you were probably going to stay up another three hours making scribbles.”

The wind barrels through between the two; the cold begins to creep in. Erwin felt chills down his back, but it wasn't from the cold.

"That's may or may not happen, but I do know that a hot pot of tea will be brewed immediately. Would you care to join me, Levi?" He held on to his wager, sure of himself that the decreasing temperature swayed the odds further into his favour.

"What if I say fuck off?" A curt, tense reply.

"Then I'll just enjoy the hot tea by myself with a bit of brandy and then head off to bed. And you can continue with whatever you were up to with no further impediment." Upping his wager. He gave one last look and began to turn on his heel. He was hoping his bluff would suffice.

An irritated huff was let out. "I would expect the MP's to be getting the good shit, but I didn't know you, first of all a captain, second in the scouts, had the connections to get brandy. What, did you extort someone for it?" The sounds of metal gently scraping and twigs snapping followed, nearing him.

"I was actually gifted this from an old friend, a morbid gift one would say. It was to congratulate me on my early death and stupidity for joining the corps at a young age." He gently chuckled. It was a fond memory of his, his friend having no intention of malice; just a brand of humor that was reserved among themselves.

It seemed the gamble he set was paying off; light footsteps walked in rhythm with his, following him back to shelter. 

Silence followed for a short period, until there was a small tug on his coat. He pivoted to face the other. They stopped a few yards away from the entrance, the light of a torch barely reaching them, but providing enough.

The stout man was before him with a pained look on his face. His posture was that of a drained soul, hunched and sluggish; he looked alone and in pain. It was the right of passage for each recruit; enduring the pain and understanding how small they were in this life they lived.

"How the fuck do you deal with this shit day in day out?" It was in a whisper, but still scathed enough. 

That was a good question. How does one retain their sanity when they know they or their comrades are to die each time they left the walls. How does one still go on with life? 

He hummed while formulating an answer, but the look the other gave made him pause and rethink; it somehow didn't feel right to give the usual lip service that is given. No, for some reason he was compelled to give his most honest response, no politics, no censors, just the unabashed truth. 

"At first I didn't. I became an insomniac, and like others, fell into self destructive tendencies. But eventually you come to realization that those who died, died so with the sole intention to better the conditions for everyone, their loved ones and so forth. I, personally, realized that if I didn't try to progress, no matter how little, it would mean that their lives fell to waste." They were both sombre.

"And so, it has become my personal goal build up on our understanding of our enemies to minimize the amount of risk while trying to gain the greatest reward." It was the best he can do with his rank. If he could only rise up farther and have a better sway as well, cutting back ineffective and costly risks; all to spare a few more lives.

He turned to Levi, eyes observing. "This role we have requires a tremendous amount of mental fortitude. I apologize for strong handing you into this position. I imagine you had better thoughts planned out rather than this; I give you my greatest apologies. It does hurt quite a bit now, but over time and confining with trusted ones does help lessen the pain." He knew he couldn't mask his own guilt; couldn't hide all those microexpressions. But it didn't matter anyway, he just wanted the other to know that this was sincere. And he hoped, hoped that the other accepted it all.

The other was momentarily stunned. No words were exchanged. 

"So, even you have some skeletons in the closet." You're human too.

"Yes. Don't we all?" It was a simple agreement between the two. 

A short huff was let out by the shorter. It was as if he was free from a demon.

"Do you still wish to join me for a bit of tea?"

"I'll stick to the brandy." A smirk gracing his lips.

With a simple nod, Erwin began to lead the way back to his office, soft footsteps beating in sync with his. He could even faintly feel the warmth emanating from the shorter from how close they were. Their walk was filled with a comfortable silence, a shared understanding of each other with no malice.

Once in the privacy of his office, wood was added to a fire and water forgotten. An amber bottle was found hidden behind stacks of books and two shallow glasses were hastily fetched. 

Warm embers in their bellies and their coats shed, they finally came to a pause in their respective storming minds. Finally a moment of rare vulnerability to be shared. At the end of the day, they were now brothers in arms, and it was their duty to comfort each other. And perhaps, what they were doing then, in their micro bubble of peace, was a well enough remedy. No words were needed to be exchanged, silence suited them well enough, for now.

Sitting across the smaller, Erwin was finally given an opportunity to fully observe. His eyes, he noted, were slightly red and swollen, and obviously tired. In attempts to conceal his curious glances he would focus on the fire burning, but that wouldn't interest his equally curious mind for long. He opened mouth but loss for words for the other.

"Levi… If you need any one to lend an ear or a quiet place for refuge, you are always welcome here. If you do not feel comfortable to do so, then don't worry, I fully understand." Somehow he managed to let it out in a low whisper.

"... I'll keep that in mind, though I'll pass on the chat right now. The silence is… grounding." To not be alone 

The blond gave a simple nod in acknowledgement. He reined himself from giving the smaller man a pat on his arm, a gesture of acceptance and camaraderie. There was something magnetic on the other male; for unknown reasons the blond ached to reach out and give some small form of physical comfort.

In the end they both fell into a sort of trance. The silence not being overbearing, but a comfort; the quiet pops and cracks from the fire luring them to an oasis of calm and healing. It fills the cracks of the heartless veneers that they routinely don to hide their vulnerabilities. Cracks that were caused by their anxieties and fears.

From then on, he was sure that their simple bond would strengthen over time; the mutual understanding of loss and the human nature to seek comfort and trust would transpire something more, he guessed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you look really closely Erwin is rather interested with Levi but doesn't really quite understand which type of interested it is...
> 
> yo holla though, second fic ever! This has been laying around and so I thought that I should crack this one out before I post ch 2 of adrift, since that is going to require a crap ton of world building


End file.
